You’ve Got the Power
The power of a woman’s body, fertility, and cycles are humbling and awe inspiring. By not interfering with that power and surrendering to it, her man and children learn the extent and wisdom of that power. If looking to avoid pregnancy, restraint and abstinence during fertile times is anything but a curse. It makes the sacrament of sex much more soul-filled and satisfying in every way. It teaches a man patience, respect, and humility and it teaches you to access the ebb and flow of your cycle. For your children, it teaches them that everything in nature has a cycle that needs to be surrendered to and respected in order to enjoy it to its fullest.
For those of you that have had a child already, think back to the time you first made love after the birth of your baby with the father of your baby. In order to enjoy it, you needed to wait for your body to recover enough before being intimate. That first consummation after birth, many men report having a connection, love, and respect for their women they hadn’t had previous to the birth. That time of waiting, patience, and reflection gave them the opportunity to develop a awe and love of their mate’s female powers and humbles them to the fact that they do NOT need a constant flow of sex to be satisfied and happy. In reality, by abstaining during fertile times or during times of recovery or ill health, and instead taking that sexual energy and put it towards bettering their relationships and connecting with their woman, and not using sex as the only way to express their love, sex becomes deeper and more meaningful to them, and additionally their women, which ultimately strengthens the family.
Practice What You Preach
To put these principals into practice, I will give you my own experience, which is still a work in progress, so to speak:
My menarche and early menstruation were typically American, or in other words, a negative, repressed, twisted experience. I was led to believe what my mother was led to believe, that I was a victim of my period and my emotions, and I sure did play the part well. I stressed out about swimming, tampons, cramps, bloating, etc. In my world, menstruation was equal to a bad, inconvenient thing. I blame no one for this, because the information was not available and my mother really was informing me only with what she knew and experienced, no thanks to the Comstock Law and Margaret Sanger’s misled efforts and intentions.
I intentionally remained a virgin until marriage at 20. I had no one to look to for birth control information, except magazines, which spit out the pharmaceutical industry’s greedy take and is information full of holes. So, I thought the ‘right’ thing to do – what everyone else was doing – was to see an OB, who eagerly prescribed the pill and gave me no other education in my options. Luckily I was taught from an early age that sex and motherhood were a spiritual matter, but unfortunately was not taught that my fertility was a spiritual matter and therefore didn’t make the connection in my 20 year old brain that they were all one in the same. Consequently I didn’t know what in the world I was really doing and why I was really doing it. I had a confusing and manipulative 3 months on The Pill, until my inner voice practically yelled at me to cease using it, which I am eternally grateful for. Four months later, in July of 1995, I became pregnant with my first daughter. This event led me into my passion in the field of fertility, pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, and parenting.
I stumbled on information on the LAM method by divine intervention, and I gingerly stepped into that world. Because I had no mentors, except studies and research books, for the first six months postpartum we used condoms periodically. We finally began trusting my body, and we stopped using condoms all together when our baby was about 6 months old. My periods returned when about 18 or 19 months postpartum and I conceived my second daughter when my baby was 21 months. After that birth, we relied solely on the LAM method and conceived my third when I was 34 months postpartum. LAM worked so well that it actually took longer to conceive than I had wanted that time around.
After my third birth, at about 20 months postpartum, I conceived again, and 18 months after my fourth birth we conceived again. All of these intentional. I think we may be done now (although I never say never), so now we are using the Creighton Method of Natural Family Planning. This is the way contraception can work, and work beautifully. For me, contraception in the form of LAM and NFP was always a joy, always liberating, never a burden, always free and never had an unwanted or unintentional side effects. Really, those three months on the pill wouldn’t have even occurred I had even a smidgen of knowledge under my belt – I regret ever using The Pill, it sucked.
Preparing the Future Generation
You can rest assured I am handing my children the legacy I wish I had been handed. I wish for women everywhere to truly claim what their fertility is about. I mourn for those that were never afforded this opportunity, like my mother’s generation and others that are in poor health or demeaning circumstances. I mourn for those who choose not to take control of their fertility in cooperation with nature, instead of in spite of it. Taking charge of fertility in this way, instead of Margaret Sanger’s way, is one of the most empowering and liberating things you will ever do. Women really need only to depend on wise choices and nature, NOT man made made devices to control their fertility, which enslave you. A truly feminist act.
Even if you never have children, you have a responsibility to yourself and an obligation to our future generations to pass on this knowledge. I teach a Whole-istic Woman series that in fact help women claim this knowledge and power, and there are endless amounts of information out there to aid you in this journey.
And one reason you’ll never get this info Planned Parenthood? They would go out of business. Imagine federal funding going towards claiming and reclaiming our fertility power instead of dolling out pills, shots and abortions. Nah, too many people – men and women alike – would actually have to change and better themselves and the world. It’s much easier just to pop a pill and numb ourselves from our cycles, our periods, our pain, our joys, the nirvana of our sexuality and our power.
Can you imagine the autonomy that could be ours today, and years ago, had Margaret Sanger thrown her energy into promoting this?! Ladies, claim your womanhood today and start creating the autonomy that I live with daily.
STOP living in fear.
STOP popping pills.
STOP depending on artifices instead of your harmonic choices and nature.
The power is within you. There are endless wisdoms that can be yours. No one is keeping them from you but you.